Sunny Afternoon by the Pool

Usually when someone asks me if I want to get together, I say yes because I love my friends. Then, when I am by myself, in the silence of my own head, the fear creeps in. I am, as only some of you know, mildly agoraphobic. Places outside my comfort zone and/or too many people make me nervous. Do I want to leave the house? Ahhh!

But in the last two years I have been slowly confronting this phobia. I have been challenging myself to accept invitations when I have the time and trying to reach out into my pool of friends and engage my relationships in a greater variety of ways.

The odd bit in all this is that I usually have a great time once I'm with those I love and enjoy. This week we were invited to spend an afternoon at the swimming pool of one of the kids' friends. Many others were invited and I was frantically trying to think of a reason to not go. Alas, I could not find one, so I accepted the invitation and prepared myself for the fear, which didn't really kick in like it used to. The afternoon by the pool was terrific fun. I loved spending time with all of kids' friends and their moms (and a couple of dads.) We talked and swam and appreciated the long awaited summer.

There's a water metaphor in there somewhere. You know, a pool of friends who provide sustenance for and refreshment of the soul; the pool of water doing the same thing for the body. Hmm. Anyway...

I feel a bit triumphant. Not as much fear, loads of enjoyment, and the genuine desire to do it again. Not bad. Let the summer of fun begin.